Normalcy

To all who have ever felt this way, facing "a sea of cold, empty eyes":
we have all felt like that at one time or another.  I know i have.  But taking your own life is not the answer.  By doing so, it not only shatters your own life, but so many others around you.  Matt, we will all miss you.  I wish you had known just how many people truly loved you. 

-Anonymous-

Screaming Inside

So many of us are screaming
screaming inside
no one to talk to
no one who understands
who are your real friends?
who can you trust?
who could possible feel what you're feeling?
trapped in a dark hole
hidden by a facade of false happiness
trying to fit in
trying to be cheerful
crying inside.
but always know
no matter how dark it gets
and even if it seems there really is no one
underneath their masks, people do care.
believe it
trust it
and please,
don't end it.


-Memory of MK-

In God's Keeping

When days are sad and lonely
and everything goes wrong
We seem to hear you whisper,
"Cheer up, carry on"

Each time we see your picture
You seem to smile and say,
"Don't cry, I'm in God's keeping
We'll meet again someday"

Consideration

If you are reading this and have previously read Kane's entry, please hear me out.  The boy who wrote this entry went to my school.  Sadly, he committed suicide this week.  But, no one had any idea, or so it seemed, that he felt so alone.  After facing the tragedy of his death, I now realize how much I wish I had made a difference.  If you feel as he did and are considering suicide, please don't.  It wasn't until after the fact of his death that so many people realized how much he had touched their lives. I bet if he had looked upon the day after his death, he probably would have given the world to take back his life.  So, for those of you who feel alone, you're not.  There is always someone, no matter who, that can help you.  Even if you don't realize it, there are people out there who need you too.  Please find some other way to deal with your problems and get help.  Taking your life is as final as it gets.

-Anonymous-

Inexperienced Expertise

I never actually got a chance to meet Matt, but I had always known of him, and what a great person he was.  All my friends were good friends with him, and it really hurt today to see them all in such pain.

Matt-if you could see us all now, you'd see how much love people had for you, and how much you are missed and cared for.
Even I, who have never met you, found myself crying-it was such an empty feeling.  I know that he must have felt this same way, but one thing that everyone must strive for is to look around you and realize how much every person really has going for them. Life is a wonderful thing, and when taken away, it is a horrible realization.

Matt-we all love you, and our prayers are with you. If anyone feels the same way, know that there are plenty of people out there who are willing to love and help you, because we care. Don't take life for
granted, and live it to the fullest.

IN MEMORY OF MATT KANE
-Anonymous-

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry...
I'm sorry for not being closer with you
I'm sorry i couldn't be a better friend, or a friend at all
I'm sorry i could never hear your cries for help
I'm sorry i could never understand
I'm sorry i wasn't close enough that you felt you could come to me with your problems so i could unburden you...
I'm sorry i couldn't have been there that night
I'm sorry you felt bad
I'm sorry you felt that you had no choice
I'm sorry that i couldn't have been there for you in any way shape or form matt...I'm so incredibly sorry...


-Anonymous-

A Shred Of Comfort

While in my grief I look out at the heavens;

And I saw a single star.

It burned brighter then the others,

Suddenly it is lost in a cloud,

And no longer can I see my star.

But I am not dishearted.

It will always shine over me,

And all who shared in it's rare beauty.

For I know that although I cannot see it,

Does not mean it is not there.



-For Matt Kane, a great friend and guy, whom I will always keep in my daily thoughts-

Summer Rain

     A Summer Breeze touches my neck
and lifts my salty hair as I lay basking on the beach
     The Sun is hot upon my skin
and the waves crash on the shore
          in the distance I hear thunder.
The families pack up all their things
          and rush off to their cars
          as damp breeze kisses my face
                        let the rain fall down
                        let the mist surround
                        let it quench the ground
                        and my body
                        let my spirit rise
                        let it reach the skies
                       when a summer cloud cries it's tears of joy
The first black clouds pass o'er my head
    and spray upon my skin
as a chill runs up my bare legs
    the beach is empty now
and darkness and aggression fuels the waves
    but I'm peaceful, and I'm thankful
I stand and hold my arms up high
    and the cool rain covers me it rejuvenates my body
my spirit used to feel so dry,
    but like a sponge
it has been filled with sweetness of the summer rain.
           
-Anonymous-

 "Barg's has bite."
              -Matt Kane (In a yearbook signing.)

-Anonymous-

The Reality of Life

The terrible news the came to be on the morning of November 17th shocked all of those who attend Ridge High School. Though I myself, never knew him to the extent that so many did, my stomach turned, and heart shattered, immediately after the message, which still plays back in my head to this night. Many cried, mourned, many, like myself, just kept to themselves, shuffling thoughts and emotions inside their own heads. I tried to console friends, and talk to those in need of someone, and through this, i found out a lot of more about how great of a loss Matt was. Over the past 2 days, I have just heard so many comments, many which were heartfelt and hard hitting, and many which were coldly inconsiderate and shallow. Through all my thoughts, and feelings, I was just compelled to write about the reality of life, and that we should make the best of what we have, because the promise of "tomorrow" is not always kept. Below is a poem i wrote, in memory of Matt.

We run after times gone by.
Seems all hope's lost,
yet still we try

to hold onto what's passed, the past.
Bottle up memories
to make good things last.

Why do we wait till things go wrong
to cherish what we now long for?
Instead we "forget then regret."

"It's best" they say "to let things go"
but the pain we dwell upon
makes it so

Hard to move onto better times.
We grieve, pout, mourn and cry.
Put down heads, and let out sighs.

Residing on, "remember when..."
instead of swallowing
the truth life brings.

Why not exist
in the "now"
and "what is."

Crawl out of holes
to make life whole.
Compensate now, for what time stole.

Treasure all.
Forget all faults
to ensure that you won't take the fall.

Remember,
there's no turning back
if its "living" that we choose to lack

Make the best of all that is
and not what was or could be,
because another "tomorrow" we may never see.

-eraven83@aol.com-