Warm and Loving Eyes

To Matt Kane from everyone at Berkeley:

        Matt Kane recently committed suicide on November 16, 1999.  From everyone at
BAC... 

Matt where ever you are, we will never forget you.  We know you have always
seen otherwise, but we want you to know that in all your thinking, you have always
thought wrong.  All you ever saw and ever will see will always be a see of warm and
loving eyes.  You were one of a kind.  An amazing guy.  I think i speak for the
when i say I'm proud to have known you and will never forget you.  We'll all miss you,
but we hope you are happier now.  We pray the pain has stopped.


-Love,
BAC    (Nichols)

Until We Meet In Heaven

Matt,

         If only you could have seen the crying faces at Berkeley today. It just goes to show how much we all loved you and cared for you. No matter how bad things get, believe me they can get worse. You took the easy way out and left your friends and family to deal with the guilt and pain. You had a lot going for you: you were nice, cute, smart, funny and lovable. Everyone loved you and no one hated you. You were just bottling up your emotions and that is what caused it. If I could go back in time 24 hours from now I would tell you: don't do it. we love you, and everything you killed yourself for yesterday wont even matter 10 years from now, those problems would have been distant memories. No one saw this coming, why did you hide it from us? I have nothing else left to say, so until we meet in heaven: goodbye and we love you.


-A swimmer of BAC

A Friend, A Teammate, A Truly Special Person

Dear Matt,

        It is so hard for all of us to understand what you were going through-- in fact, it is impossible. we all feel as though we could have helped in some way... and we all want so badly for you to know that we are not just a sea of cold, empty eyes-- we do care- you hold a special place in all of our hearts.  our connections to you were inevitable-- you were a friend, a teammate, and truly a special person.  the pain, innocence, and tragedy of such an event can not even be fathomed back here on earth. it is hard now, and will be forever for all of us to get by without you.  Matt Kane: we love you dearly, and no matter what, will remember you always.  we all sincerely hope that you have found whatever you were looking for- whatever you were missing. 


-A teammate... written on behalf of all the BAC swimmers

A Family of Warm, Loving Hearts

Matt-

        I want you to know that we all do, and always have loved and cared for you. You always seemed to brighten my day, and the days of those around you with your creative wit and keen smile. I only wish you had known how much you meant to us, Matt. How much you helped us deal with our own problems and helped us to enjoy your presence. I cannot begin to understand your problems or fears, Matt, but I can only offer you the guidance that they were misplaced. We were not a sea of empty cold eyes, but rather a family of warm, loving hearts. We were here for you; even though you didn't know it, and you didn't seek our help. I would have done anything for you Matt, just so that it wouldn't have had to come to this. I want you to understand that we all love you very much and will eternally miss you. I know that I will think of you everyday when I pass your locker, or enter a class we shared. I will miss you every time that I think of the great times we had together. Times we shared at the pool, or in class, or in the halls. Times that I did not realize I should have taken advantage of. I should have taken advantage of your time with us, Matt, because the time that we will have without will be time in which we mourn. I hope that now you are able to look down on us today, and everyday, and see that we loved and cared for you, because you were you.


-God Bless and Love Always,
                                JP

You Put Yourself ahead of Everyone

Matt-

        You affected everyone's life so much. You were always the one to brighten everyone else's day.  You would be the one trying to cheer us up, you would be the one cracking jokes.  You were the one making everyone laugh through their tears.  If you looked around Ridge yesterday...well, we really needed you. It's like all the spirit went out of the junior class. We all miss you so much. I just can't understand that when you made everyone else feel better and helped them through tough times, that why couldn't you let us do the same for you?  Because trust me, we would have.  All you have to do is walk down the junior hallway.  I only wish you were here to see it. It wasn't "a sea of cold, empty eyes" because everyone was crying.  We all loved you. I just pray that all the pain is finally over, Matt.

-Anonymous

Until We Meet In Heaven

Matt,

        I don't have much to say and i don't know what it is to say, except I love you and miss you and i wish you could have let someone help. I hope you are where you want to be.


-Someone that cares

I Hope You Found God

Dear Matt,

        You were the best guy had every quality anyone could ask for but i guess you didn't feel that about yourself and it is sad to think that you didn't see that in yourself why couldn't you have found other ways to deal with this problem rather than leaving it on all of our shoulders to deal with. You were a great person overall and you deserve praise but now we can only wait to see you when we are up there with you and are able to see you again i hope you found god and you are in a good place looking down on us and realizing that you mean a lot to everyone


-Anonymous

I Hope You Will Live Our In All Of Us

Matt,

        I wish we could turn back time to when we were younger. Remember when we would mess around at practice and the coaches would throw bill, u and brian in the pool. Or when your brother coached and we would make us work. And all the times you would harass me and em and kaitlyn at meets? I miss those care-free times. I also miss you. Those times and work and school, I will always remember them. You will always be in my heart and soul Matt. I love you and hope you are living now care-free. "Stars always have paths cross once and again". Much love and hope and dreams that you have will live out in all of us.  

Always loving u, now and forever.
                                                              

-PVP Buds 4-ever

Re-evaluating Ourselves

Matt~

I don't know what to say.  You swam with me everyday for the past 4 years.  In fact we were usually in the same lane.  Your pounding on the block and notorious clapping before your races will live on through everyone at Berkeley.  If only you could see the way your teammates at the pool reacted these past days you might have chosen otherwise.  You would have seen how much everyone cared about you.  Everyone always think that the Berkeley senior team is extremely close...we would all like to believe this...but maybe you have shown us that we need to go back and re-evaluate ourselves and our team.  If this is what your were thinking, well it has worked and i can assure you that our team has already begun to come together.  If only this could have happened sooner and with you hear to help us. Well even though i did not know you like other people, I still think that you are a great, gifted, bright and impressive person.  I have learned that there are so many important things in life and you just have to make it through the hard ones.  I love you and will miss you greatly Matt.

-A teammate at Berkeley

You Will Be In Our Prayers Tonight, and Forever

Dear Matt,

        Wherever you are right now, whatever you are doing, all of us here want you to know that we love you.  We want you to know that you left us with so many good times. You always brought a smile to the faces of those around you, and every time we think of you it will bring another. We hope you know that your love will be with us forever.
        I hope that they have DreamCast and action figures in abundance where you are now. May your love for transformers live with you forever. You will be in our prayers tonight and forever.

We love you!!!


-A dear, dear Friend

A Life Departed - But Not Gone

Dear Matt,

     Your death came as a shock to us all.  I never knew that you were suffering so much pain.  In the midst of this, I know that you did enjoy some truly happy moments in your life.  I can see you smiling and laughing in so many memories-- I can see you around people that loved you and were enlightened by your presence-- I can hear you making your friends laugh and smile.  I'll always remember being brightened up just by seeing you at school.  You helped me enjoy my life-- and even for a short time, I know I helped you enjoy yours.  Those great memories will always be a part of me.  We had a special relationship- we always had fun together and supported each other.  Wherever you are Matt, I want to thank you for being a great classmate and friend.  I want to thank you for being a great person.  I want to thank you for helping me enjoy my life.  I'll miss you.


-Love,
Dan Jaeger